I do not accept the fate of Jeremiah
This was my immediate reaction to October 7th.
My soul must have been channeling that precise demand for justice that David had when he said those words to Saul but when I looked them up - as I explained that very day in the video’s description - what came up was Sara, Abraham, Hagar, and Ishmael. And when I opened my old device to read the chapter, it was present to the prior chapter of Abraham bemoaning his lack of children, so I trusted fate and read from there.
When I found the word CHAMAS in the very verse that contained the demand for justice, and when the area that was attacked appeared as well I understood that the time to accuse was overdue…
If ever there was a sign this was it.
The fact that Moshe Rudner should have been cast out from the Family of Israel when he was, by any objective standard, among the best of Israel was a fact that I could speak to with certainty, because I happen to have lived his life.
As mentioned in the previous letter, nobody at his rabbinical college claimed more knowledge of Torah, a more intimate prayerful service, or to be a greater for of good deeds for his fellow man.
And yet - because “Truth Was Missing”, and the LOVE OF TRUTH that characterized our Master, and Maimonides who was his, was turned into an abject hypocritical mockery - the young man that I was over 20 years ago was perpetually on the defense against the careerist cowardly nobodies who manned the institution.
Rav Noach paid a high price fighting for me for 7 years against the soulless automatons who, after years of ideological purity, he relented and allowed to run his institution.
I could say more - much more - but don't need to. The above should suffice.
Not a soul at that institution doubted my Ahavas Yisrael (Love of Israel), it would have been hilarious to watch somebody try.
And yet, they engaged in witch hunt ater witch hunt lest my ideological purity to blatant nonsense be lacking until they drove me out of the Peoplehood of Israel.
And those empty-headed pseudo-humble efficient t-crossers and i-dotters who watched tapes to learn how to speak to people dared use RAMBAM of all people in their accusations.
I researched and researched and bidikas chameitzed with feather and candle until I was absolutely certain that frum halacha was riddled with erroneous idolatrous nonsense. It wasn't until I was 100% certain that I would change a single thing. I gave every facet of THEIR Judaism the utmost benefit of the doubt and until that point was among the most punctilious of observers.
Afterwards I continued to keep laws I regarded as erroneous and misleading because בתוך עמי אנכי יושב, I dwell as a part of my people and will therefore do as they do.
Those shameless, soulless, cowards…
Many years passed.
To recount, even in part, the saint that I was in those - particularly in the matter of Loving my Fellow Jews - would be both impossible and unbelievable. The little that everybody saw made me stand out among them. What went on behind the scenes is too much to be able to recount. Truly too much.
And then, many years of homelessness later, when October 7th happened….I didn't care.
It shocked me. There was a time when I took any suffering by anybody as evidence that I was failing my divine responsibility. (And I wasn't wrong. Nor would any of you be if you were to feel likewise. We are in fact meant to be our brother's keeper.) And here, a slaughter on the scale of a day in the Holocaust didn't drive me to a week long fast and tearful prayer and endless activity but… was interesting. I reacted pretty much how anybody not in the line of fire reacted. Like a regular guy.
So when it came time to share my thoughts with the world I couldn't open my mouth with anything true to say.
All I found true to say, I say again today,
MAY YAHWEH JUDGE BETWEEN THEM AND ME
The fact that I wasn't heartbroken was itself heartbreaking. How could it be that this happened ON MY WATCH?!
Such things had NOT happened after I pulled ALL THE STOPS many years ago. They did not. Not even close.
The fact that they had driven ME from ISRAEL to the degree that such a thing could occur and I didn't care much more than the average Jew was an astonishment.
I said, and I say again, there are people - if you can call them that - who will have to answer to God and History for keeping me off the world’s stage at a moment like this.
You all see that - though I am purposefully NOT engulfing my soul with their problems when they lack even the SLIGHTEST HUMAN CAPACITY for appreciation, I am still doing my damnest duty to help them out despite their utter lack of deserving it.
And yet, they fart their way through their tfillin, shabbos, kosher and philanthropic honors acquired with blood money in opposition to every word of the prophets they have never read, and don't move a finger to even allow me to help them because — as many Jewish Sages and the Wisest of Antisemites have pointed out over thousands of years — what does it help their own LITERAL SELVES to take an unpopular stand.
Jeremiah went into exile with the fools who wouldn't listen to him.
I have no interest in being Jesus or in following Jeremiah. As righteous divine retribution cascades over the coming decades I ask you, my few friends, to please pour me a drink and remind me to celebrate the righteous, well earned destruction they have paid for and shall receive.
May their “leaders” names and memories be cursed until they are utterly wiped from the earth.
Yedidya
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