I have something pretty interesting to say about that but the title is clickbait. Let me tell you why.
1.
Communicating in the manner that we do today is brand fucking new.
From our aboriginal evolution off the left nut of papa chimp we have been getting better and better at communicating with each other.
For 5 million years the rules were simple.
Every single time that a human had something to tell you he was in earshot.
You could see him, hear him, be seen by him, and respond to him too.
Hell, each and every time you ever communicated with someone you were within 10 second’s distance of murdering one another or making love together and thus becoming the co-gods of a new human. Communication mattered.
For Five Million Years.
2.
Then something really fucked up took place.
Some Jew Dude created a way to take all of the bothersome parts out of communicating (those would be the listening parts) by developing and promulgating a code…. for giving mono-direction orders.
That was the first text. An order.
Tax collecting was a tiresome thing for rulers. A written number scheme and a few pictures to represent whether you were demanding a virgin girl or a virgin boy this season made the job of governing a whole lot less dangerous.
For the owners anyway.
Tax Collectors had a harder go of it. Hencewith cometh the expression, “Please! Don't kill the messenger!”
3.
You might not have noticed but a few paragraphs up if you look closely and hold your phone into the light, you’ll see that I had originally written the slur for Jew*, noticed the Freudian slip and crossed it out in thick strikethrough as I caught my breath and with an evil chuckle and they’ll-never-catch-me hand rubbing set about surreptitiously replacing the word Jew with the word Dude. And because dog whistles are only sold in Congress I had to make due with a bargain-bin wink emoji, but because I’m Jewish myself, that wink emoji is this entire paragraph.
You see it wasn't Jews who created tax-collecting.
Jews were the fuckin messenger class.
The middle-men, the talkers, the ones whose job it was to try and mediate between the king’s goons and the king’s subjects…
It was a dangerous job.
But, when life gives you seven letters and one of them means Virgin Girl**, well, you figure out a way to turn these horrible letters into a funny code to enable the communication of more than just dehumanizing horrors.
You feel less alone and isolated on Earth by getting a joke in at the imagined expense of the various people making your life hell. Who do you joke with? The only other people who share your sentiments. Also the only other people who can read. Your fellow messengers.
So under the written royal code indicating that you had given the farmer X amount of seeds (indicating to the harvest messenger that he must collect Y amount of grain) you might draw the pictographs for Baby+BadGrain as an insider barb at the unfortunate looking youngling born to the angry couple who spit at and beat you with their well practiced fists.
4.
All of which is to say that the Jewish People are a certain kind of people.
Over the generations we have been gone through many smelting pots, from Kur Barzel Mitzraim ad hayoim hazeh.
In this process many characters and characteristics, both genetic and memetic, were burned off of the people while others were incorporated into both the gene pool and meme pool.
Today I discovered a Nazi within the Jewish gene pool and meme pool. Someone who wants his genes to continue among the Jews, and for his opinions and emotions to be incorporated into the semitic norm so that he won't feel quite so alone among the Jews.
I could say much more about his german’ness but that would confuse the issue.
The issue is Nazi/Stazi emotions, attitudes, moral beliefs, and actions.
Jews are not primarily a gene pool, we are a meme pool.
5.
Jews are not a race.
We understand that some of you may regard race as incredibly important, and the nice ones among us try to understand your point of view and explain ours to you, and see if we can end up at a common conclusion.
We are aware of the fact that the not-nice ones among us don't give a shit about your opinion, but trust us, we are as silenced by them as you are. We explicators are, of necessity, a jolly bunch so we continue to have a go at getting all sides to understand each other and get along a little better.
It's true that the last middle-man among the middle-men got himself crucified for his efforts but, hey, “This Is The Life We Have Chosen!”
Not really. We are well aware that we are “the chosen people”, rather than “the people who chose”. God said it to us himself. He liked Abraham, so after a series of fumbled communications God settled on a way to keep His most solemn and terrifying of personal vows*** and adopted the Sons of Israel to be His Nation.
It's been a rocky relationship to say the least but it's furnished us with a great sense of humor.
This Nazi however has no sense of humor. He has nothing but a bloodhound’s lust to kill on behalf of The Leader.
He often becomes confused among Jews as to who the leader is. He could see the emperor’s new clothes, how could he not find The Leader in boots and crisp uniform?
So he imagines himself a weathervane of public opinion. Not exactly popular opinion. He’s caught on that there's an hierarchy in Judaism but it's really not obvious to him how it works. Also (of all the crazy things) it's apparently quasi-meritocratic!
Right and Wrong he understands.
Right is being a good murder-dog for The Leader. Wrong is everything else.
But as much as the Jews talk about right and wrong, the best this man can figure out is that it's really complicated and apparently you have to hedge your bets.
He is not enjoying himself. He is not happy here.
He needs to feel like he is killing someone many times a day. All he asks is for some fucking guidance as to which people he's supposed to kill!
Like I said, he doesn't like it here.
But, Jews are not a race.
We are a pool of competing memes far more than we are a pool of genes.
Even were he the inbred product of the first hermaphrodite Aryan to flap out of the Rhine we would accept him if we were sure of him.
I don't know his genetic or memetic background but the fact that he is such a pure, even idealized, version of the perfect stasi or nazi can't be an accident.
I mean his essential sentiment is a need to “purify” his new race!
6.
But with the exception of amalekite backstabbers who won’t approach you face to face like a man but instead snipe at you from behind and thus the embodiment of a trait apparently impossible to breed out of a family, we Jews regard any people, whether defined by nation, language, or type of hat, as capable of producing someone who can become one of our brothers - or even leaders.
And we do not ever condemn an individual as an Amaleiki.
Certainly not when he has ended up - by hook or by crook - as one of us.
We pride ourselves with rumors about great leaders and prophets having been converts descended from individuals so despised that we commemorate our ancient interactions with them via annual fast days!
The Torah tells us to love the ger doubly as much as we love our own brothers.
And - well, here's the fuckin kicker - we can't just kick the guy out.
I don't know how he got in and whoever let him in better be able to stand by his decision to do so — but once he's in, he’s in.
And, Goddamn it, you have to love him TWICE as much as you love your brother, because he's twice as hard to love!
It's an absolutely amazing mitzvah. I can't say that I endorse it. This is heavy stuff. It doesn't exist in other peoples.
We aren't commanded to love the Ger (unto the 10th generation!!!) who is the best of us, Ruth, Ovadiah, Avtalyon, Onkelos, and many people of my personal acquaintance.
Some of my very closest friends, people I regard - correctly and truthfully - as among the best Jews in the world were born to at least one non-Jewish parent.
Loving them is exceptionally easy and we take greater pride in them than we do in our own sons who achieve equal rank.
The Biblical command here is to love the guy who not only hasn't brought us brilliant international wisdom to incorporate into our daily lives but who brought with him all the worst traits of the people he came from.
Remember how in Egypt you were middlemen between Pharoah and The People and it totally sucked? How about this then. “Thou Shalt Have No Peddlers In Thine Midst”. You incorporate the outsider into your society even when his foreign emotions, moral assumptions, expressions and everything else are not, “just what you were looking for!” but literally the very worst of emotions, mindsets and morals - the kind you despise from the very ashes of your ancestors.
You SHALL love the Ger.
7.
The Torah does not command you to be suicidal.
As Rav Noach, one of my great mentors used to constantly remind me and himself… Habah Lihargecha? HASHKEIM LihargO!
Is someone out to kill you? Wake up early in the morning and — Kill. Him. First.
Even your brother.
But just as if you suspected your brother might be trying to kill you you would see if you could work it out first - hell, you’d try three times over! - so you must with anyone else within your people who is a danger to you or others.
“See Something, Say Something” is a standard forbidden throughout the Jewish Bible.
Prepare for The Word.
THERE SHALL BE NO PEDDLERS IN YOUR MIDST.
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR BROTHER’S BLOOD.
I AM YHWH.
YOU MAY NOT DISLIKE YOUR BROTHER, EVEN PRIVATELY.
SPEAK TO YOUR KINDRED WHEN YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THEM.
OR YOU WILL CARRY THE SIN OF THEIR SUFFERING.
YOU WILL BE A PEOPLE WHO NEITHER TAKE REVENGE NOR EVEN FEEL ANY REASON TO WANT TO.
AND YOU WILL TRULY LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF.
AND I AM YAHWEH.
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*Jew
**This is true. Feel free to look this up. One of the very first letters was a hieroglyph meaning “virgin slave girl”. It was an upsidedown triangle with a slit running up the pubis.
***